I'd like to invite all y'all to join my rally cry against the orange tinged dark arts I've been spotting in grocery stores, food aisles, running supplements, and most offensively and horrifyingly, my parents refrigerator. Hear my rally cry against the indencency of pumpkin spicing, maple baconing, or caramel appleing everything! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a strategically placed piece of pumpkin bread or maple syrup pour (right in my mouth hole area), but things have been getting out of hand, food producers of North America. When the irreproachable and humble workhouses that are English muffins take on a pumpkin spice hue, I have to wonder: can no food product go unsullied?!
Hear my rally cry against the indecency of pumpkin spice everything: nooooo mooooooooooooooore! (And especially no more pumpkin beer in July. JUST NO.)
Please note the relative health of all these things is overwhelmingly, impressively, and staggeringly healthy.
Here be the grossest things I've found in the wild this fall season:
Hear my rally cry against the indecency of pumpkin spice everything: nooooo mooooooooooooooore! (And especially no more pumpkin beer in July. JUST NO.)
Please note the relative health of all these things is overwhelmingly, impressively, and staggeringly healthy.
Here be the grossest things I've found in the wild this fall season:
 |
| Maple. Bacon. Energy. Gel. |
Because energy gel wasn't gross enough, we flavored it like sweet meat.
I'm no wizard, but I predict this will go over real well at mile 15.
