Case of the Terribles: Do You Want to Play with my Balls edition

Some of us are never mature enough to discuss the word balls without giggling, because we're secretly 12 year old boys.  This one is for us, team - all us otherwise functional adults who snicker at immature things.  But if you're say, more into proving yourself better than/more right/a fair judge of everything everyone else does/a paragon of righteous morality, this is also for you, and just in time for Banned Books Week!  Bossy Internet Morality Police (BIMPs), mount up!

Behold a new book "for children":

Do You Want to Play with my Balls, by The Cifaldi Brothers 

Naturally, BIMPs are having a rightous pout about this, while the rest of us super (im)mature types perhaps weren't naive enough to think this was actually for real a book for children.  I mean, please read the back of the jacket.

If you BIMPs are still upset, I suggest you read a peaceful children's book and take a nap until you can talk in an inside voice and stop embarrassing yourself and your childhood librarian on those comment streams.  

Well played, brothers Cifaldi!

Tidbits: Ketchup on the week

I was away for a week, frolicking on the shore, reading boatloads, eating indecent amounts of ice cream (so much so that we're seeing other people for a while), and having close encounters with nature (had a dance off with a fisher cat, found a dead bird INSIDE THE HOUSE, and something touched me while I was swimming, leading me to think of this...before I realized I was in two feet of water).   Turns out I missed a LOT of things on the Internets, so let's have some ketchup, shall we?

• Best. News. Of. The. Week.  Ron Moore, he of the Battlestars Galactic, will be adapting Paperblog Guilty Pleasure Numero Uno (excluding food and YA):  OUTLANDER.  For HBO.  That squee you hear?  It is not a rogue piglet.  It's meeeeeee, snitches!
  
• The Hunger Games casting people went on a bender last week, and hot dog, they done good.  Meet Johanna Mason, Wiress (aka Nuts), and Plutarch Heavensbee, solid contender for best inexplicable name of a  Hunger Games character. 

• Everyone, and their mom, and their mom's mom have seen this by now, but I don't know why we don't have 6 year olds judge books by their covers more often.  If only her assessment of Fifty Shades of Grey happened to be true...("The book is about a zebra that wears pants.")

• YAY: Vote for your favorite YA novels in NPRs election for the best-ever YA titles!

• Donald J. Sobol, the man behind some of my favorite childhood books (The Encyclopedia Brown series), passed away.  (I really could have used Leroy Encyclopedia Brown to solve the curious case of why there was a dead bird inside my cottage - jury is still out.)
  
•  Guys, libraries have cool things in them.  Like say, the Boston Public Libraries digitalized vintage travel posters library, which claimed, oh, about an hour of my day.  This one totally qualifies for vintage Case of the Terribles status.  I dare you not to groan.  Really, America?)

• Are you a school librarian for a high-need public school in the United States?  Don't miss out on these  Department of Education grants, due August 10th.  

• The DoJ is moving ahead with the anti-trust settlement against the big three publishing houses.  They included this ruling, leading me to believe that none of them actually have e-Readers:

  It called arguments that Amazon will eventually monopolize the e-book market “highly speculative at best” and noted that with Apple, Microsoft, Google and Sony all in the e-book market “there is no shortage of competitive assets” being brought to bear on the e-book industry.”

  Yes, DoJ, there are competitive assets.  But what are the sales like in comparison? For serious...has anyone actually ever purchased a book off of the Googles?  I want to know who that one person is.  I didn't even KNOW that Microsoft was in the game... #librarianfail.  

• I'll leave you with an awesome tidbit.  Sherman Alexie wins a Gold Star for super sass this week!

Forever, by Judy Blume: Smutty Books!

Forever, Judy Blume (1975).
NY: Bradbury Press. ISBN: 0-02-711030-3

Katherine is 17, and has just met a cute boy named Michael, who is totally requiting her crush. They bond over records (see publication date), start to date and hang out, and Katherine finds herself falling hard for him. Her best friend Erica has a crush on his best friend, Artie, who may or may not be gay, but who is definitely depressed. Katherine and Michael eventually decide to take things up a notch, and Do It. They like Doing It, so they keep Doing It. Artie and Erica don't, because Artie is gay-maybe, depressed-definitely. When Artie tries to commit suicide, the teens all come together to help each other and Artie accept who they are and the choices they make. Meanwhile, back at their parents homes, Michael and Katherine are still in love, forever, and Doin' It. Even though their parents and other grown ups want them to try dating other people, they can’t see the point, because this is love. They are presented with a major hurdle when their parents make them spend their senior summer apart. This is the story of first love, friendship, sex, and growing up.

I do love me a good smutty book. Banned book list? Bring. It. On. I’m somewhat disappointed with my teenaged self for never getting more into dirty Judy Blume books; I guess finding my fourth-grade-self somewhat scandalized and over-stimulated all the period talk in Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, is probably is a good explanation for why I never branched out. I digress... Forever did not disappoint.

This is really at its core a story about growing up, accepting your sexuality (and that of others, like gay-maybe Artie), love, and doin’ it. It goes without saying that Katherine and Michael take an express train to Boom City. Judy Blume doesn’t shy away from the nitty gritty of sex, be it in the form of teenage pregnancy, sexual attraction, premature ejaculation, etc. While I initially giggled and gasped about the awkwardness of Michael and Katherine’s first time(s), this book serves to debunk the myths surrounding sex for most teenagers. While Katherine is kind of an insensitive flake when she breaks up with Michael (in my humble opinion), she is a role model for girls who are thinking about becoming sexually active because she is so responsible, taking a trip to Planned Parenthood and always insisting on protection. Despite being written thirty-three years ago, this book stands up to the passage of time as a testament to growing up. High five, Judy Blume.

Best for: Teenage girls, ages 13-18. Or dirty book affectionados, avec moi.

The Hook: Banned book about sex. It kind of sells itself. Short of that, I would give a brief summary, holding up the cover of my copy, which features a big brass bed with….wait for it…rumpled sheets! SCANDAL.