Case of the Terribles: The Incident of the Toilet Mug

Believe it or not, this is a coffee mug.

If someone gave me this, I'd have to reconsider our friendship.   Clearly said "friends" would be trying to make me die of dysentery on the sly, so they can ford the river and get to Oregon before I do. 
Think again, punks!

But really, who should I give this to?

Tidbits: The Perks of being the Hunger Games Trailer

• I don't know about you guys, but I'm torn from what I see in the photos from The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  Charlie and Sam look the same age.  Isn't it supposed to be the early 90's?  And Charlie looks way too cool.  The Charlie in my brain is kind of scrawny, slightly pathetic, a bit squirrelly, kind of a wallflower...AHEM.  Thoughts?

• Have you been away from the internets all day?  Because BIG NEWS, three loyal readers.  The Hunger Games trailer dropped today!  Get at us Panem!  You guys.  I don't want to jinx it...but...it is all kinds of good news, in my opinion.  

Peeta?  That Josh Hutcherson totally looks like he's going to vomit when his name gets called.  Effie Trinket? Looks like Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka.  Perf!  Tiny Rue?! A perfectly concrete heavy and stark District 12?  Serious and prescient Cinna?  And the countdown at the end?  SQUEE.  TENSION.  EXCITEMENT.  ANXIETY.  And is Haymitch sober?  Because his hair isn't.  We can't win them all...For the highly scientific breakdown, visit the Forever Young Adult analysis.  

• A tiny treat.  The Perks of being a Male Twilight Fan, aka The Men Who Camped Out For Twilight, a photoessay by the Sports Guy's new site, Grantland.  Personally, I'm a big fan of the last entry, for their shirts and for the reason the guy cites as the thing he's most excited for in the movie. 

Uncommon Criminals, by Ally Carter: My Uncommon Goal of Art Theivery

Uncommon Criminals
by Ally Carter
Disney Hyperion Books: New York, 2011.
ISBN: 978-142314795-4

     Kat Bishop is back again in the second book in Ally Carter's Heist Society series.  This time though, our favorite con-artist with a heart has herself been conned after being led to believe she was returning the allegedly stolen Cleopatra Emerald to its rightful owner.   Embarrassed that she's fallen victim to an old school con artist who seems to think Kat is just like her, Kat reluctantly accepts the help of her crew in retrieving the emerald and reuniting it with it's rightful owner, making things slightly awkward with her possible (if she would only admit it to herself) crush, Hale.  To get the stone back, the crew must work together in a high stakes gamble in the casino's of Monaco, all while trying to avoid the attention of Uncle Eddie, who has specifically instructed them to have nothing to do with the Cleopatra.  This newest edition in the series is an exciting, quickly paced, occasionally romantic read; it may even be stronger than the freshman effort!  It is recommended for libraries serving (probably female) patrons aged 11 to 15, and cool adults who like to pretend like they can be an art thief if their day job doesn't work out.  Ahem...

You guys, this book is really fun.  I encourage you to read it over a vacation or lazy Saturday morning.  It's quick.  It's exciting.  It's white-glove sexy (chaste kissing, not the white doctors office gloves you're thinking of you perv).  It's about art theft!  It's like a girls' version of Ocean's Eleven, before they blew it by making too many (whatever, it's the truth).  Just do it.  You're welcome.

Perhaps you don't remember the promise I made to you several months ago when the first two chapters of this book were up online.  It is likely, because I barely remembered.  You know, the one where I promised to tell you which paintings I'd steal if ever my soul became a blackened coal lump and I turned to a life of art theivery of specific paintings for my own, and only my viewing pleasure? But rejoice, because remember, I did.  And here they are.  There are probably more that I've forgotten, like some Winslow Homer watercolors (how did I miss his watercolors until the age of what I am now?),  Dutch Renaissance Masters, or the crown jewels (which I'll get anyways, when I marry Harry, obvi).

 Paintings I'd Steal
(if ever my soul became blackened coal lump and I turned to a life of art theivery of specific paintings for my own, and only my viewing pleasure)

A Case of the Terribles: Cat Hair

Nothing good can come of this. 

I think that cat agrees.

Recipe 35: Beet, Swiss Chard, Goat Cheese, and Walnut Risotto

This pot was obviously too small to
everyone but me. 

This recipe is a classic example of the Paperblog Princess underestimating the size of a pot.  If you have two sizes of Le Creuset in which to make this dish, I encourage you, go big.  It may not fill the pot.  But it will not try to escape your too small Le Creuset.  Be safe, you guys.  I make messes so you don't have to.  I took this recipe on the road to the Asphalt Kitchen's kitchen, where we used a billion of our farmshare beets and chard to make this.  We all thought it was just okay.  I think the major problem in our case was under seasoning (we needed way way more salt), not chopping the chard finely enough (possibly using too much), and going a little rogue trying to use as many beets and as much chard as we could.  Follow the darn recipe.  And make sure to boil and peel the beets before adding them to the recipe.  Unless you like crunchy uncooked beets, you weirdo.  The cook time in the original recipe is not enough to cook them through entirely.  As with all risotto's, make sure to serve it almost immediately or it will dry out.  Because ours went awry, I've barely tweaked the original October, 2003 Cooking Light recipe.  Don't get fancy.  Follow the recipe.  Seriously. 

Murrrrder. 
They call me the Dexter of the kitchen.

Beet, Swiss Chard, Goat Cheese, and Walnut Risotto
via Cooking Light (October, 2003)

Allegedly serves 4.

Beet, Swiss Chard, Goat Cheese, and Walnut Risotto